Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind?

Celia
Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind?
Orlando
I will.
Rosalind, as Ganymede
Ay, but when?
Orlando
Why now, as fast as she can marry us.

Make the doors upon a woman’s wit, and it will out
at the casement. Shut that, and ’twill out at the keyhole.
Stop that, ’twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney.

Rosalind, as Ganymede
Then you must say “I take
thee, Rosalind, for wife.”
Orlando
I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.
Rosalind, as Ganymede
I might ask you for your
commission, but I do take thee, Orlando, for my
husband. There’s a girl goes before the priest, and
certainly a woman’s thought runs before her actions.
Orlando
So do all thoughts. They are winged.
Rosalind, as Ganymede
Now tell me how long you
would have her after you have possessed her?
Orlando
Forever and a day.
Rosalind, as Ganymede
Say “a day” without the
“ever.” No, no, Orlando, men are April when they
woo, December when they wed. Maids are May
when they are maids, but the sky changes when
they are wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a
Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen, more clamorous
than a parrot against rain, more newfangled than
an ape, more giddy in my desires than a monkey. I
will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain,
and I will do that when you are disposed to be
merry. I will laugh like a hyena, and that when thou
art inclined to sleep.
Orlando
But will my Rosalind do so?
Rosalind, as Ganymede
By my life, she will do as I do.
Orlando
O, but she is wise.
Rosalind, as Ganymede
Or else she could not have
the wit to do this. The wiser, the waywarder. Make
the doors upon a woman’s wit, and it will out at the
casement. Shut that, and ’twill out at the keyhole.
Stop that, ’twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney.
Orlando
A man that had a wife with such a wit, he
might say “Wit, whither wilt?”
Rosalind, as Ganymede
Nay, you might keep that
check for it till you met your wife’s wit going to
your neighbor’s bed.
Orlando
And what wit could wit have to excuse that?
Rosalind, as Ganymede
Marry, to say she came to
seek you there. You shall never take her without her
answer unless you take her without her tongue. O,
that woman that cannot make her fault her husband’s
occasion, let her never nurse her child
herself, for she will breed it like a fool.