This can be no trick
Benedick, coming forward
This can be no trick. The conference was sadly borne;
they have the truth of this from Hero; they seem to pity
the lady. It seems her affections have their full bent.
Love me? Why, it must be requited! I hear how I am
censured. Theysay I will bear myself proudly if
I perceive the love come from her. They say, too, that
she will rather die than give any sign of affection.
A man loves the meat in his youth that
he cannot endure in his age
I did never think to marry. I must not seem proud.
Happy are they that hear their detractions and can put them
to mending. They say the lady is fair; ’tis a truth, I can
bear them witness. And virtuous; ’tis so, I cannot
reprove it. And wise, but for loving me; by my troth,
it is no addition to her wit, nor no great argument of
her folly, for I will be horribly in love with her! I
may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of
wit broken on me because I have railed so long
against marriage, but doth not the appetite alter? A
man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot
endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and
these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the
career of his humor? No! The world must be peopled.
When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not
think I should live till I were married. Here comes
Beatrice. By this day, she’s a fair lady. I do spy some
marks of love in her.
Against my will, I am sent to bid you come
in to dinner.
Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.
I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains
to thank me. If it had been painful, I would not have come.
You take pleasure then in the message?
Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife’s point
and choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, signior.
Fare you well.
Ha! “Against my will I am sent to bid you
come in to dinner.” There’s a double meaning in
that. “I took no more pains for those thanks than
you took pains to thank me.” That’s as much as to
say “Any pains that I take for you is as easy as
thanks.” If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I
do not love her, I am a Jew. I will go get her picture.