Sweet Beatrice, wouldst thou come when I called thee?
Benedick
Sweet Beatrice, wouldst thou come when I called thee?
Beatrice
Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me.
Benedick
O, stay but till then!
Beatrice
“Then” is spoken. Fare you well now. And yet, ere
I go, let me go with that I came, which is, with
knowing what hath passed between you and Claudio.
If a man do not erect in this age his own tomb
ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument
than the bell rings and the widow weeps
Benedick
Only foul words, and thereupon I will kiss thee.
Beatrice
Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but
foul breath, and foul breath is noisome. Therefore
I will depart unkissed.
Benedick
Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense,
so forcible is thy wit. But I must tell thee plainly,
Claudio undergoes my challenge, and either I must
shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe him a coward.
And I pray thee now tell me, for which of my bad parts
didst thou first fall in love with me?
Beatrice
For them all together, which maintained so politic
a state of evil that they will not admit any good part
to intermingle with them. But for which of my good
parts did you first suffer love for me?
Benedick
Suffer love! A good epithet. I do suffer love indeed,
for I love thee against my will.
Beatrice
In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor heart, if you
spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours, for I will
never love that which my friend hates.
Benedick
Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.
Beatrice
It appears not in this confession. There’s not one
wise man among twenty that will praise himself.
Benedick
An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in the
time of good neighbors. If a man do not erect in this
age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer
in monument than the bell rings and the widow weeps.
Beatrice
And how long is that, think you?
Benedick
Question: why, an hour in clamor and a quarter in
rheum. Therefore is it most expedient for impediment
to the contrary, to be the trumpet of his own virtues,
as I am to myself. So much for praising myself, who,
I myself will bear witness, is praiseworthy. And now
tell me, how doth your cousin?
Beatrice
Very ill.
Benedick
And how do you?
Beatrice
Very ill, too.
Benedick
Serve God, love me, and mend. There will I
leave you too, for here comes one in haste.