Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas’ clerks
Gadshill
Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas'
clerks, I'll give thee this neck.
Chamberlain
No, I'll none of it. I pray thee, keep that
for the hangman, for I know thou worshipest Saint
Nicholas as truly as a man of falsehood may.
Gadshill
What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If
I hang, I'll make a fat pair of gallows, for if I hang,
old Sir John hangs with me, and thou knowest he is
no starveling. Tut, there are other Troyans that
thou dream'st not of, the which for sport sake are
content to do the profession some grace, that
would, if matters should be looked into, for their
own credit sake make all whole. I am joined with no
foot-land-rakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers,
none of these mad mustachio purple-hued malt-worms,
but with nobility and tranquillity, burgomasters
and great oneyers, such as can hold in, such
as will strike sooner than speak, and speak sooner
than drink, and drink sooner than pray, and yet,
zounds, I lie, for they pray continually to their saint
the commonwealth, or rather not pray to her but
prey on her, for they ride up and down on her and
make her their boots.
Chamberlain
What, the commonwealth their boots?
Will she hold out water in foul way?
Gadshill
She will, she will. Justice hath liquored her.
We steal as in a castle, cocksure. We have the
receipt of fern seed; we walk invisible.
Chamberlain
Nay, by my faith, I think you are more
beholding to the night than to fern seed for your
walking invisible.
Gadshill
Give me thy hand. Thou shalt have a share in
our purchase, as I am a true man.
Chamberlain
Nay, rather let me have it as you are a
false thief.
Gadshill
Go to. Homo is a common name to all men.
Bid the ostler bring my gelding out of the stable.
Farewell, you muddy knave.