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Home » Quotes » Twelfth Night » Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch?

Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch?

Andrew
Sir Toby Belch! How now, Sir Toby Belch?
Toby
Sweet Sir Andrew!
Andrew, to Maria
Bless you, fair shrew.

Methinks sometimes I have no more wit
than a Christian or an ordinary man has.

Maria 
And you too, sir.
Toby
Accost, Sir Andrew, accost!
Andrew
What’s that?
Toby
My niece’s chambermaid.
Andrew
Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.
Maria
My name is Mary, sir.
Andrew
Good Mistress Mary Accost—
Toby
You mistake, knight. “Accost” is front her, board
her, woo her, assail her.
Andrew
By my troth, I would not undertake her in
this company. Is that the meaning of “accost”?
Maria
Fare you well, gentlemen. She begins to exit.
Toby
An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou
mightst never draw sword again.
Andrew
An you part so, mistress, I would I might never
draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you
have fools in hand?
Maria
Sir, I have not you by th’ hand.
Andrew
Marry, but you shall have, and here’s my hand.
 He offers his hand.
Maria, taking his hand
Now sir, thought is free. I pray you, bring your
hand to th’ butt’ry bar and let it drink.
Andrew
Wherefore, sweetheart? What’s your metaphor?
Maria
It’s dry, sir.
Andrew
Why, I think so. I am not such an ass but I
can keep my hand dry. But what’s your jest?
Maria
A dry jest, sir.
Andrew
Are you full of them?
Maria
Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers’ ends. Marry,
now I let go your hand, I am barren. Maria exits.
Toby
O knight, thou lack’st a cup of canary! When did
I see thee so put down?
Andrew
Never in your life, I think, unless you see
canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have
no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man
has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that
does harm to my wit.
Toby
No question.

Source:
Act 1
Scene 3
Line 71

Source Type:

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