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Sir Hugh, persuade me not

Sir Hugh, persuade me not. I will make a
Star-Chamber matter of it. If he were twenty Sir
John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, Esquire.
In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace
and Coram.

Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I
do despise one that is false, or as I despise
one that is not true.

Ay, Cousin Slender, and Custalorum.
Ay, and Ratolorum too; and a gentleman born,
Master Parson, who writes himself “Armigero”
in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation—
Ay, that I do, and have done any time these
three hundred years.
All his successors gone before him hath
done ’t, and all his ancestors that come after him
may. They may give the dozen white luces in their coat.
It is an old coat.
Sir Hugh
The dozen white louses do become an old
coat well. It agrees well, passant. It is a familiar
beast to man and signifies love.
The luce is the fresh fish. The salt fish is an
old coat.
I may quarter, coz.
You may, by marrying.
Sir Hugh
It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
Not a whit.
Sir Hugh
Yes, py ’r Lady. If he has a quarter of your
coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my
simple conjectures. But that is all one. If Sir John
Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you,
I am of the Church, and will be glad to do my
benevolence to make atonements and compromises
between you.
The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
Sir Hugh
It is not meet the Council hear a riot. There
is no fear of Got in a riot. The Council, look you,
shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear
a riot. Take your visaments in that.
Ha! O’ my life, if I were young again, the
sword should end it.
Sir Hugh
It is petter that friends is the sword, and end
it. And there is also another device in my prain,
which peradventure prings goot discretions with
it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master
Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity.
Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair
and speaks small like a woman?
Sir Hugh
It is that fery person for all the ’orld, as just
as you will desire. And seven hundred pounds of
moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon
his death’s-bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!)
give, when she is able to overtake seventeen
years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our
pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between
Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
Sir Hugh
Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
I know the young gentlewoman. She has good gifts.
Sir Hugh
Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.
Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
Sir Hugh
Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I
do despise one that is false, or as I despise one that
is not true. The knight Sir John is there, and I beseech
you be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat
the door for Master Page.  He knocks.  What ho?
Got pless your house here.
Page, within
Who’s there?
Sir Hugh
Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and
Justice Shallow, and here young Master Slender,
that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if
matters grow to your likings.

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