See, see, here comes the man we went to seek
Prince
See, see, here comes the man we went to seek.
Claudio
Now, signior, what news?
Benedick, to Prince
Good day, my lord.
Prince
Welcome, signior. You are almost come to
part almost a fray.
In a false quarrel there is no true valor
Claudio
We had like to have had our two noses
snapped off with two old men without teeth.
Prince
Leonato and his brother. What think’st thou?
Had we fought, I doubt we should have been too
young for them.
Benedick
In a false quarrel there is no true valor. I came
to seek you both.
Claudio
We have been up and down to seek thee, for we
are high-proof melancholy and would fain have
it beaten away. Wilt thou use thy wit?
Benedick
It is in my scabbard. Shall I draw it?
Prince
Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?
Claudio
Never any did so, though very many have been
beside their wit. I will bid thee draw, as we do
the minstrels: draw to pleasure us.
Prince
As I am an honest man, he looks pale.—Art thou
sick, or angry?
Claudio, to Benedick
What, courage, man! What though care killed a cat?
Thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care.
Benedick
Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, an you charge
it against me. I pray you, choose another subject.
Claudio, to Prince
Nay, then, give him another staff. This last was broke ’cross.
Prince
By this light, he changes more and more. I think he
be angry indeed.
Claudio
If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.
Benedick
Shall I speak a word in your ear?
Claudio
God bless me from a challenge!
Benedick, aside to Claudio
You are a villain. I jest not. I will make it good
how you dare, with what you dare, and when you
dare. Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice.
You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall
fall heavy on you. Let me hear from you.
Claudio
Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer.
Prince
What, a feast, a feast?
Claudio
I’ faith, I thank him. He hath bid me to a calf’s head
and a capon, the which if I do not carve most curiously,
say my knife’s naught. Shall I not find a woodcock too?
Benedick
Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily.
Prince
I’ll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the
other day. I said thou hadst a fine wit. “True,” said
she, “a fine little one.” “No,” said I, “a great wit.”
“Right,” says she, “a great gross one.” “Nay,” said I,
“a good wit.” “Just,” said she, “it hurts nobody.”
“Nay,” said I, “the gentleman is wise.” “Certain,”
said she, “a wise gentleman.” “Nay,” said I, “he
hath the tongues.” “That I believe,” said she, “for he
swore a thing to me on Monday night which he
forswore on Tuesday morning; there’s a double
tongue, there’s two tongues.” Thus did she an hour
together transshape thy particular virtues. Yet at
last she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the
proper’st man in Italy.
Claudio
For the which she wept heartily and said she
cared not.
Prince
Yea, that she did. But yet for all that, an if she
did not hate him deadly, she would love him
dearly. The old man’s daughter told us all.
Claudio
All, all. And, moreover, God saw him when
he was hid in the garden.
Prince
But when shall we set the savage bull’s horns
on the sensible Benedick’s head?
Claudio
Yea, and text underneath: “Here dwells Benedick,
the married man”?
Benedick
Fare you well, boy. You know my mind. I will leave
you now to your gossip-like humor. You break jests
as braggarts do their blades, which, God be thanked,
hurt not.—My lord, for your many courtesies I thank
you. I must discontinue your company. Your brother
the Bastard is fled from Messina. You have among
you killed a sweet and innocent lady. For my Lord
Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet, and till then
peace be with him.
Benedick exits.
Prince
He is in earnest.
Claudio
In most profound earnest, and, I’ll warrant you,
for the love of Beatrice.
Prince
And hath challenged thee?
Claudio
Most sincerely.
Prince
What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his
doublet and hose and leaves off his wit!
Claudio
He is then a giant to an ape; but then is an ape
a doctor to such a man.