O monstrous! Eleven buckram men grown out of two!

Prince Hal
O monstrous! Eleven buckram men grown out
of two!
Falstaff
But as the devil would have it, three misbegotten
knaves in Kendal green came at my back,
and let drive at me, for it was so dark, Hal, that thou
couldst not see thy hand.

These lies are like their father that begets
them, gross as a mountain, open, palpable.

Prince Hal
These lies are like their father that begets
them, gross as a mountain, open, palpable. Why,
thou claybrained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou
whoreson, obscene, greasy tallow-catch—
Falstaff
What, art thou mad? Art thou mad? Is not
the truth the truth?
Prince Hal
Why, how couldst thou know these men in
Kendal green when it was so dark thou couldst not
see thy hand? Come, tell us your reason. What sayest
thou to this?
Poins
Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.
Falstaff
What, upon compulsion? Zounds, an I were
at the strappado or all the racks in the world, I
would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a
reason on compulsion? If reasons were as plentiful
as blackberries, I would give no man a reason upon
compulsion, I.
Prince Hal
I’ll be no longer guilty of this sin. This sanguine
coward, this bed-presser, this horse-backbreaker,
this huge hill of flesh—
Falstaff
’Sblood, you starveling, you elfskin, you
dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stockfish!
O, for breath to utter what is like thee! You tailor’s
yard, you sheath, you bowcase, you vile standing tuck—
Prince Hal
Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again, and
when thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons,
hear me speak but this.
Poins
Mark, Jack.
Prince Hal
We two saw you four set on four, and bound
them and were masters of their wealth. Mark now
how a plain tale shall put you down. Then did we
two set on you four and, with a word, outfaced you
from your prize, and have it, yea, and can show it
you here in the house. And, Falstaff, you carried
your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity,
and roared for mercy, and still run and roared, as
ever I heard bull-calf. What a slave art thou to hack
thy sword as thou hast done, and then say it was in
fight! What trick, what device, what starting-hole
canst thou now find out to hide thee from this open
and apparent shame?
Poins
Come, let’s hear, Jack. What trick hast thou now?
Falstaff
By the Lord, I knew you as well as he that
made you. Why, hear you, my masters, was it for
me to kill the heir apparent? Should I turn upon the
true prince? Why, thou knowest I am as valiant as
Hercules, but beware instinct. The lion will not
touch the true prince. Instinct is a great matter.
I was now a coward on instinct. I shall think
the better of myself, and thee, during my life—
I for a valiant lion, and thou for a true prince.
But, by the Lord, lads, I am glad you have the
money.—Hostess, clap to the doors.—Watch tonight,
pray tomorrow. Gallants, lads, boys, hearts
of gold, all the titles of good fellowship come to
you. What, shall we be merry? Shall we have a play extempore?
Prince Hal
Content, and the argument shall be thy running away.
Falstaff
Ah, no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest me.