If a man’s brains were in ‘s heels

Fool
If a man's brains were in ‘s heels, were ‘t not in
danger of kibes?
King Lear
Ay, boy.
Fool
Then, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall not go slipshod.
King Lear
Ha, ha, ha!
Fool
Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly,
for, though she's as like this as a crab's like an
apple, yet I can tell what I can tell.
King Lear
What canst tell, boy?
Fool
She will taste as like this as a crab does to a crab.
Thou canst tell why one's nose stands i' th' middle
on ‘s face?
King Lear
No.
Fool
Why, to keep one's eyes of either side ‘s nose,
that what a man cannot smell out he may spy into.
King Lear
I did her wrong.
Fool
Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?
King Lear
No.
Fool
Nor I neither. But I can tell why a snail has a house.
King Lear
Why?
Fool
Why, to put ‘s head in, not to give it away to his
daughters and leave his horns without a case.
King Lear
I will forget my nature. So kind a father!—Be
my horses ready?
Gentleman exits.
Fool
Thy asses are gone about 'em. The reason why
the seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason.
King Lear
Because they are not eight.
Fool
Yes, indeed. Thou wouldst make a good Fool.
King Lear
To take ‘t again perforce! Monster ingratitude!
Fool
If thou wert my Fool, nuncle, I'd have thee
beaten for being old before thy time.
King Lear
How's that?
Fool
Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst
been wise.
King Lear
O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven!
Keep me in temper. I would not be mad!