But I pray, sir, why am I beaten?

Dromio of Syracuse
But I pray, sir, why am I beaten?
Antipholus of Syracuse
Dost thou not know?
Dromio of Syracuse
Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten.

Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season, 
When in the “why” and the “wherefore” is neither rhyme nor reason? 

Antipholus of Syracuse
Shall I tell you why?
Dromio of Syracuse
Ay, sir, and wherefore, for they say 
every why hath a wherefore.
Antipholus of Syracuse
“Why” first: for flouting me; and then “wherefore”:
for urging it the second time to me.
Dromio of Syracuse
Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season,
When in the why and the whereforeAlliteration is neither rhyme nor reason?Alliteration
Antipholus of Syracuse
Thank me, sir, for what?
Dromio of Syracuse
Marry, sir, for this something
that you gave me for nothing.
Antipholus of Syracuse
I’ll make you amends next, to give you nothing
for something. But say, sir, is it dinnertime?
Dromio of Syracuse
No, sir, I think the meat wants that I have.
Antipholus of Syracuse
In good time, sir, what’s that?
Dromio of Syracuse
Basting.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Well, sir, then ’twill be dry.
Dromio of Syracuse
If it be, sir, I pray you eat none of it.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Your reason?
Dromio of Syracuse
Lest it make you choleric and purchase me
another dry basting.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Well, sir, learn to jest in good time. There’s a
time for all things.
Dromio of Syracuse
I durst have denied that before you were so choleric.
Antipholus of Syracuse
By what rule, sir?
Dromio of Syracuse
Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate
of Father Time himself.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Let’s hear it.
Dromio of Syracuse
There’s no time for a man to recover his hair that
grows bald by nature.
Antipholus of Syracuse
May he not do it by fine and recovery?
Dromio of Syracuse
Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig, and recover the
lost hair of another man.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being,
as it is, so plentiful an excrement?
Dromio of Syracuse
Because it is a blessing that he bestows
on beasts,  and what he hath scanted men 
in hair, he hath given them in wit.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Why, but there’s many a man hath more
hair than wit.
Dromio of Syracuse
Not a man of those but he hath the wit to
lose his hair.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain
dealers without wit.
Dromio of Syracuse
The plainer dealer, the sooner lost. Yet he
loseth it in a kind of jollity.
Antipholus of Syracuse
For what reason?
Dromio of Syracuse
For two, and sound ones too.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Nay, not sound, I pray you.
Dromio of Syracuse
Sure ones, then.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.
Dromio of Syracuse
Certain ones, then.
Antipholus of Syracuse
Name them.
Dromio of Syracuse
The one, to save the money that he spends
in tiring; the other, that at dinner they
should not drop in his porridge.
Antipholus of Syracuse
You would all this time have proved there
is  no time for all things.
Dromio of Syracuse
Marry, and did, sir: namely, e’en no time to
recover hair lost by nature.
Antipholus of Syracuse
But your reason was not substantial why there
is no time to recover.
Dromio of Syracuse
Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald and
therefore, to the world’s end, will have 
bald followers.
Antipholus of Syracuse
I knew ’twould be a bald conclusion.